Funny Dog Jokes For Australians
Dog lovers, listen up because here’s a gift for you: a comprehensive list of funny dog jokes! If you thought dogs couldn’t be funnier than they already are, think again!
It’s a known fact that dogs have the power to make anyone laugh.
They will always put a smile on your face, even if they are knocking off your shelf or chewing up your shoes.
Don’t get me wrong, sharing your life with a dog certainly comes with some challenges too, but it’s nonetheless one of the best things in the world.
We love to laugh and we love dogs, so we doubt that there’s anything better than funny dog jokes.
If you’re a dog lover too, we’re sure that you’ll enjoy this collection of funny dog jokes. Because after all, dogs make the world go round.
What’s a puppy’s favourite subject? Barkeology!
Q: What’s a puppy’s favourite kind of pizza?
What do trees and puppies have in common? They both have a lot of bark.
“We’re eating dinner soon. Don’t fill up on homework.” – Dog mum
Q: What does a dog like to eat at movies?
What do you get when you cross a puppy and a calculator? A friend you can count on.
Q: Why is it called a litter of puppies?
A: Because they’ll trash the place.
Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
Sheepdog & Border Collie jokes
(Psssst: We also have an article full of funny Border Collie memes here.)
Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a flower?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do people think border collies are such good listeners?
A: Because they act like they always HERD you.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
A: A Broc-COLLIE!
A sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, and then reports back to the farmer: “All 60 accounted for.” “But I only have 57 sheep”, says the farmer. “I know”, says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
Are you thinking of names you may be collie-ing your pet?
You don’t have to tell a Border Collie a joke twice. They HERD you the first time.
Two border collies are going to sleep on their farm. Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.
Chester the border collie jumps up asking, “Did you hear that from the sheep, Barney?”
Barney the Collie: “Of course I herd them.”
Q: What is a collie’s favourite condiment?
A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives. A nearby sheep yells out: “YOU don’t work hard, all you do is boss US around.” “WHAT DID YOU SAY” shouted the collie. “You HERD me” the sheep replied.
Q: Whats round and green and chases sheep?
A: A Melon-collie!
Q: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he ate his dinner?
A: Wow, that really hit the spot!
Q: What is a dog’s favourite city?
A: New Yorkie.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A: A cockerpoodkedoo!
Q: What happens when it rains cats and dogs?
A: You can step in a poodle.
Q: What kind of dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle.
A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend…
“My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer, and I’m as jittery as a cat.”
“Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” suggests the collie.
“I can’t,” says the poodle. “I’m not allowed on the couch.”
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabror.
Dog training jokes
Before meeting new clients, a dog trainer asks them to fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” The client responded: “I often ask myself the same question.”
One dog to another dog: “My owner is so stupid. I’ve brought him the ball a thousand times but he continues to throw it away!”
Knock knock dog jokes
Dog 1: I’m sad, tell me a joke.
Dog 2: Okay. I know a good one: Knock kn…
Dog 1: BARK BARK BARK BARK
Dog Jokes One Lines & Short Jokes
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: Same place you left him.
Q: Why is the dog such a good storyteller?
A: He knows how to paws for the dramatic effect.
Her: “Aww, you’re the best, I love you.”
Him: “Oh darling, I love you too.”
Her: “Be quiet, I’m talking to our dog!”
My dog is my soulmate. We both love naps and get annoyed at the neighbour.
Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: That was ruff!
Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the barking lot.
There’s this old saying, that dogs who bark don’t bite. Unfortunately for posties, most dogs aren’t aware of the saying.
What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary? You take the words out of his mouth!
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him.
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!
Man 1: “Your dog bit my mother in law!”
Man 2: “Oh sorry, do you want me to reimburse her for the pain and suffering?”
Man 1: “No, I want to buy your dog!”
Q: What do a dog and a mobile phone have in common?
A: Both have a collar ID.
Q: How do rangers who catch dogs get paid?
A: By the pound.
Q: What did the dog say to the tree?
I spend five minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog. Then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult #winning
Q: How does a dog stop a tv show?
A: He presses paws.
Q: What did one flea say to another?
A: Should be walk or take a dog?
Q: What do you call a dog with a surround sounds system?
A: A sub-woofer
Q: What does a dog say before eating?
A: Bone appetite!
Looking for more?
You’ll love our article about 25+ Hilarious Dog Memes You Need To See.