21+ Border Collie Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

We love to laugh and we love Border Collies, so here’s our collection of 21+ Border Collie jokes.

If you prefer memes, this one’s for you: Top 10: Funny Border Collie Memes You Need To See

Border Collie Jokes

A Border Collie breeder has 7 Border Collies in his backyard. But when he rounded them up, he had 10!

Q: What did the Border Collie say to the bartender?

A: I’ll take a gin, life has been ruff

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a flower?

A: A collie-flower!

Q: How many Bulldogs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they’ll ask the Border Collie to do it.

Q: Why do people think border collies are such good listeners?
A: Because they act like they always HERD you.

Q: What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?

A sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, and then reports back to the farmer: “All 60 accounted for.” “But I only have 57 sheep”, says the farmer. “I know”, says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

Q: What do you get if you cross a Border Collie with a hyena?

A: No idea, but if it laughs, I’ll join in.

Are you thinking of names you may be collie-ing your pet?

Q: What do you call a sleeping Border Collie?
A: Anything you like, just very quietly.

You don’t have to tell a Border Collie a joke twice. They HERD you the first time.

Border collie herd you the first time meme
Find more memes here: Top 10: Funny Border Collie Memes You Need To See

Q: Why do Border Collies hate the rain?

A: They don’t want to step in a poodle!

Two border collies are going to sleep on their farm. Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.

Chester the border collie jumps up asking, “Did you hear that from the sheep, Barney?”

Barney the Collie: “Of course I herd them.”

Q: What is a collie’s favourite condiment?


Help needed. Our worst fears have been confirmed today. My wife is allergic to our Border Collie. We have no options other than re-homing. Could someone please find a little place in their heart to help me out. She is reasonably house trained and can be very loving at times.

Her name is Michelle and she is 44.

A Border Collie farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels!

A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives. A nearby sheep yells out: “YOU don’t work hard, all you do is boss US around.” “WHAT DID YOU SAY” shouted the collie. “You HERD me” the sheep replied.

Q: Whats round and green and chases sheep?

A: A Melon-collie!

Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?”

Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.”

Q: What’s a Border Collie’s favourite musical instrument?
A: The dinner bell!

Find more dog jokes here: 37+ Funny Dog Jokes You Need To Read



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